What to Do When an Eating Disorder Causes You to Fight With Your Child

by Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library If you suspect or know that your teen is suffering from an eating disorder, you are probably doing everyth

Anxiety Disorders

by Topeka Shawnee County Public Library

If you suspect or know that your teen is suffering from an eating disorder, you are probably doing everything in your power to help him or her. Unfortunately, it's likely that your child is not interested in your help, and could actually lash out at you for offering your advice or ordering him or her to do something else. You need to find out what to do when an eating disorder causes you to fight with your child, because just getting angry with him or her will probably cause an even bigger fight and widen the distance between you.

First of all, heed this advice: trying to change someone else's eating habits is only advisable if you're doing it as part of a treatment plan recommended and guided by a professional. You're likely to cause more harm than good if you try to change someone on your own, because he or she is likely to be suffering from more than just physical symptoms. In other words, an eating disorder has a lot of psychological implications with it.

The psychological portion of an eating disorder is usually the result of abuse, lack of self-confidence, or a desire for control over some aspect of one's life. What this means is that the victim actually has had his or her reality distorted. For example, someone who might have her bones showing could still insist that she's too fat. She's convinced herself of it so many times that she no longer can see herself for how she truly is, and this is one of the most dangerous aspects of it.

So, when wondering what to do when an eating disorder causes you to fight with your child, try thinking about it not as the enemy, but something that you and the child can bond over. As much as you might hate to admit it, your own influence could have pushed your child into having this disorder, and in order for you to help them, you have to evaluate your own role in the situation. If you have told them they need to lose weight, they might just be taking your advice to an extreme.

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Commonly question about What to Do When an Eating Disorder Causes You to Fight With Your Child

Question :

How to react when my friend comes home from an eating disorder center?

My friend is currently at an eating disorder clinic/center considering she has one. She is coming home soon however, how do i react when she comes home? Do I hug her or just act like everything is normal and treat her as i would on a regular day, even though I haven t seen her in weeks? Should I ask her how everything is going? I don t know what to say :(

Answer :
Your friend is really stressed out about coming home, trust me. There are a few things you could do to make her transition back easier.
1st: DO NOT comment on how she looks. You might want to tell her she looks great, but please, don t. It s hard to explain, and I m sure it s hard to understand, but this is NOT what your friend wants to hear and could encourage a relapse.
2nd: You should treat her normally. Hug her, tell her how much you ve missed her, but don t pressure her to talk. Let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk (but don t pressure her into talking), and maybe ask her how she s doing every once in a while. Don t act like nothing happened, and not ask how s she is doing, because she might feel like you don t care.
3rd: Remind her you love her. She s going through a really hard time, and needs your love and support.

Source(s):

I ve been in and out of treatment for years, and I know many girls with eating disorders who would back me up on all of the above.

Question :

When do you know that your eating disorder is out of control?

Well I guess I will get a lot of answers like eating disorders are always out of control or something. But that isn t what I am looking for. When do you really know that if you don t get help it will be too late?

Answer :
You feel unwell and are malnourished. You are below your healthy weight, in bad moods, and even start having signs of malnourishment as fragile skin, hair, nails, pallor, etc.

When people start to say "are you feeling sick?" and even if you know you DO, you tell them you are OK (and they don t believe you)

Question :

What should I expect when referred to a specialist eating disorder unit?

My doctor said she want to refer me to an eating disorder unit for help.

I suffer from Bulimia, and am quite ill purging up to 10 times a day usually. With a history of abusing laxatives, and diet pills. But I am not underweight and do not appear so.

What should I expect. Will they want to do any medical examinations?

Answer :
Of course you will be examined - Bulimia puts you at extremely high risk of organ failure , long term health problmes , osteoporosis , permanent heart damage etc

whether you are underweight or not is the least of the problems - it is what that is going on inside your body and the damage done to it and whether you need referred to any specialist ie cardio , gastro intestinal etc etc
They will need to assess what damage has been done and what measures need to be taken to address these

You will be assessed by one or more psychiatrist s - a second opinion mybe required

What you do need to keep in mind is that yo are clearly extremely ill and they are there to help you - at first you will fight it , be in denial etc -

You maybe prescribed supplements , anti depressants etc to help - no one person is the same